Meeting Request
“…Dear [redacted],
I am writing this in the hopes of setting up a confidential meeting between the two of us. I understand you may have summer travel and other important issues to tend to at this time, so please know that I am happy to meet at your convenience.
The reason I am reaching out is because I feel I have exhausted all available avenues to deal with the recent challenges within our office. I am coming to you because I am looking for guidance, perspective, and encouragement in moving forward. After taking some much needed time to process the events of the past year, I have many things on my mind that I would like to voice. I will do my best to outline my thoughts below; please excuse the lengthiness of this message…”
I am more observational than confrontational. I collect information and file it away for safe keeping because I never know when it may come in handy. This trait has served me well in the workplace. It has made me a strong (and accurate) judge of character and it has saved me on more than one occasion. Through observation, I can pick up on the preferences, thoughts, and feelings of my coworkers. I notice what or who annoys them during the weekly staff meeting. I see the rolling of eyes or the sigh of exasperation when The Boss starts talking about their Next Great Idea. I see who isn’t invited to happy hour.
Over time, patterns become recognizable. I see the people who habitually take credit for work and effort that isn’t their own. I see The Boss who plays favorites and turns a blind eye to the real issues plaguing the office. I see Middle Management who will do and say anything to cover their own ass. I see a revolving door of staff who enter, but don’t stay long.
As an Asian-American millennial woman, who grew up in a working-poor household, who was a first-generation college student, and now, a first-generation professional, I am starting this project to share my experiences of the alienation, isolation, anger, hurt, and pain caused by the model minority myth at work. I am going to share memories, experiences, and traumas I have never spoken about or told anyone publicly. I can recall spending much of my worklife feeling lonely and gaslit over experiences with workplace bullying, intimidation, racism, classism, body shaming, and policing. I learned hard lessons about merit, success, teamwork, and trust. I am proud of the person I have become. I am hopeful for the person I am becoming. But, I do recognize that in the process, it had cost some measure of my emotional well-being and mental health.
My goal with this project is to be a source of support and empowerment for other Asian-American women like myself, and to reassure them that they are not alone in their grief and frustration at work.